For many years in the 1960s and 70s, Mum worked in some of, what were then, pioneering residential schools for children with autism. Much of what you describe feels very familiar from the stories she told and continues to tell. We live in a very different world now, and we have different attitudes towards autism - in many ways, we've progressed, but in many ways, we haven't. But she always said that for each and every one of those children, there was always something they were good at - they always had a special gift, even if it was just one thing, and even if it was as simple as just making a cup of tea. It's true, it takes time, and much nurturing - something which, however hard it is, I know you offer Albert in abundance - and it's not an easy journey. For a long time, Mum followed the career of the artist, Stephen Wiltshire, who was also autistic. His gift is that he can draw the most complex landscapes and places from memory, having see them only once. I have no doubt that one day, in the right season, Albert will also discover his special gifts, and who knows where they might take him.
David, thank you so so much for saying this. God bless pioneering people like your mother. I dread to think what life was like for children like Albert before autism really started being studied in the 60s. I think what's hard is that Albert hasn't found his "thing" yet. If he could tell me all the capital cities of Europe or play the piano like a prodigy then maybe the future mightn't seem as bleak. But at the moment, we are firmly in twiddle-string-while-reciting-Bluey land 🤣 I so appreciate your encouragement as always xx
I have sat on this response for the last two days thinking through how I could respond without being too twee or too dismissive.
Firstly I want to say that I do not know exactly what you feel because I am not you.
What I can say is that I have spent the better portion of my working life supporting children like your son. I want you to know they have been my biggest teachers in this game called life.
They communicate ever so clearly. I think it’s that this crazy world is all too busy rushing from thing to thing that we miss the point more times than not.
I also want you to know how gracious and kind humanity can be in spite of the chaos unfolding before us regularly. I want you to know your little boy will be held and valued and dearly loved in spite of everything.
I don’t want to ignore your very real fears and concerns but working with people like your darling boy has been one of God’s richest blessing in my little life.
I turned 58 on 24 July and found it interesting to note that your story came up for me on my birthday. A gentle reminder of the gorgeous beauty I receive and the delightfully interesting people who are around me in my work.
Thank you for being real. Thank you for sharing and thank you for reminding me of our blessings. This includes your son. He is an angel disguised in human form. Of that I am sure.
Tiffany, I have no words except thank you for your gentleness and soft wisdom and enveloping thoughts. I hope you had a gorgeous birthday and thank you for all the work you've done for boys & girls like Albert xxxx
Oh, Aimee. This fear must be so heavy to carry. I hope you and your son have a good support system and get all the love you need and deserve. Albert looks like such a happy boy in the pics, and I hope you’re so proud of yourself for all you’ve done and will continue to do in the years going forward. You’re giving this boy the freedom to be himself! I can’t offer any advice or words of wisdom, but I sincerely hope that writing it all down helped (if even a little bit.)
I have no words of wisdom Aimee, I know your parenthood path is not an easy one - only to say that you are the most wonderful mum. Albert is so very lucky to have you. You create magic for him every day. Thinking of a future that is so uncertain is hard, but truly none of us know what the next week, month or year holds. You are brilliant at living in the now and making the most of those little moments. Something I should do more. Much love xx
Oh, Aimée. This is so heartfelt and so beautifully written - I can feel the pain and fear woven into every word. You are so brave to share this and to share your lovely Albert with us. Please know that you are not alone, and the very fact that you are feeling all of these big feelings shows just what an extraordinary person and mother you are.
What is scariest now I imagine is the not knowing what to do. There is so much help to be had, though I know that the wheels move slowly.
I also read a piece this evening about a Professor at Cambridge:
“Jason Arday became a Cambridge professor at the age of 37, he was lionised by the academic world…
He had beaten almost impossible odds to get there. Diagnosed with autism, and non-verbal until the age of 11, he had only learnt to read and write at 18 but obtained a degree and a doctorate before forging a career in teaching.”
There a little controversy around him currently but the main thing is what he achieved. Just brilliant. I wish you luck with your little man. Be patient is what I do know.
For many years in the 1960s and 70s, Mum worked in some of, what were then, pioneering residential schools for children with autism. Much of what you describe feels very familiar from the stories she told and continues to tell. We live in a very different world now, and we have different attitudes towards autism - in many ways, we've progressed, but in many ways, we haven't. But she always said that for each and every one of those children, there was always something they were good at - they always had a special gift, even if it was just one thing, and even if it was as simple as just making a cup of tea. It's true, it takes time, and much nurturing - something which, however hard it is, I know you offer Albert in abundance - and it's not an easy journey. For a long time, Mum followed the career of the artist, Stephen Wiltshire, who was also autistic. His gift is that he can draw the most complex landscapes and places from memory, having see them only once. I have no doubt that one day, in the right season, Albert will also discover his special gifts, and who knows where they might take him.
David, thank you so so much for saying this. God bless pioneering people like your mother. I dread to think what life was like for children like Albert before autism really started being studied in the 60s. I think what's hard is that Albert hasn't found his "thing" yet. If he could tell me all the capital cities of Europe or play the piano like a prodigy then maybe the future mightn't seem as bleak. But at the moment, we are firmly in twiddle-string-while-reciting-Bluey land 🤣 I so appreciate your encouragement as always xx
Hi Aimee
I have sat on this response for the last two days thinking through how I could respond without being too twee or too dismissive.
Firstly I want to say that I do not know exactly what you feel because I am not you.
What I can say is that I have spent the better portion of my working life supporting children like your son. I want you to know they have been my biggest teachers in this game called life.
They communicate ever so clearly. I think it’s that this crazy world is all too busy rushing from thing to thing that we miss the point more times than not.
I also want you to know how gracious and kind humanity can be in spite of the chaos unfolding before us regularly. I want you to know your little boy will be held and valued and dearly loved in spite of everything.
I don’t want to ignore your very real fears and concerns but working with people like your darling boy has been one of God’s richest blessing in my little life.
I turned 58 on 24 July and found it interesting to note that your story came up for me on my birthday. A gentle reminder of the gorgeous beauty I receive and the delightfully interesting people who are around me in my work.
Thank you for being real. Thank you for sharing and thank you for reminding me of our blessings. This includes your son. He is an angel disguised in human form. Of that I am sure.
Tiffany 🧡
Tiffany, I have no words except thank you for your gentleness and soft wisdom and enveloping thoughts. I hope you had a gorgeous birthday and thank you for all the work you've done for boys & girls like Albert xxxx
Oh, Aimee. This fear must be so heavy to carry. I hope you and your son have a good support system and get all the love you need and deserve. Albert looks like such a happy boy in the pics, and I hope you’re so proud of yourself for all you’ve done and will continue to do in the years going forward. You’re giving this boy the freedom to be himself! I can’t offer any advice or words of wisdom, but I sincerely hope that writing it all down helped (if even a little bit.)
It did very much, Monique. I forgot just how cathartic writing can be. Thank you for taking the time to comment xx
I have no words of wisdom Aimee, I know your parenthood path is not an easy one - only to say that you are the most wonderful mum. Albert is so very lucky to have you. You create magic for him every day. Thinking of a future that is so uncertain is hard, but truly none of us know what the next week, month or year holds. You are brilliant at living in the now and making the most of those little moments. Something I should do more. Much love xx
Oh, Aimée. This is so heartfelt and so beautifully written - I can feel the pain and fear woven into every word. You are so brave to share this and to share your lovely Albert with us. Please know that you are not alone, and the very fact that you are feeling all of these big feelings shows just what an extraordinary person and mother you are.
Thank you so much, Lauren. I so appreicate this xx
What is scariest now I imagine is the not knowing what to do. There is so much help to be had, though I know that the wheels move slowly.
I also read a piece this evening about a Professor at Cambridge:
“Jason Arday became a Cambridge professor at the age of 37, he was lionised by the academic world…
He had beaten almost impossible odds to get there. Diagnosed with autism, and non-verbal until the age of 11, he had only learnt to read and write at 18 but obtained a degree and a doctorate before forging a career in teaching.”
Will, thank you so much for sharing this with me. I've just preordered Professor Arday's book thanks to you! 😍
There a little controversy around him currently but the main thing is what he achieved. Just brilliant. I wish you luck with your little man. Be patient is what I do know.
Sending you much love <3